Laremy 42

Moving On Up... To The East Side... I Finally Got a Piece of The...

2009-07-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Please to be going to my NEW tumbler blog!!

http://laremy.tumblr.com/

Very Important Things

2009-06-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

If you ever need to get really concerned about the world at large consider CNN's Most Popular feature.

This afternoon the Internets attention span looking like this:

Cats
Girlfriends
Mandy Moore
Comic Books
Missing Teen
Iran Election, Riots

Yes. Iran, a country of 70 million that's on the verge of revolution (and pretty close to having nukes), rates lower than cat serial killers, girl pals, perky mandy moore, and capt. America.

Not that those things aren't interesting. They are. I talked to Mandy Moore on the phone once and she was great.

Ok, I'm Impressed.

2009-06-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not normally a fellow who is impressed by marketing materials. But The Discovery Channel got me with this very cool hologram / t-shirt combo to promote Shark Week.

However, for the record, I'm very pro-shark. And pro-tuna.

Ideally, I'd like all the fish in the sea to thrive.

Music, for you, on a Friday in June.

2009-06-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Reflections on Winning

2009-05-30T00:03:00.001-07:00

It's good to remember that occasionally, when everything breaks just right, amazing things can happen.

Headline Writing Made Easy

2009-05-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

Occasionally two prominent sites have the same clever idea at the exact same time.

The NBA Playoffs: Where Matching Headlines Happen.

CNN Doin' Work

2009-05-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

You've got to love this headline from the CNN Entertainment Section:

I get that it's a holiday fellas... but let's not completely give up, eh?

This Saturday Night, Me, LIVE!

2009-05-07T10:59:00.001-07:00

Okay all my single ladies, you know you want to see me riff on movies, celebs, and the joy that is the life of a film critic.

Well come on down! I'm going to get a solid ten minute format to finally espouse my world view of "that's just my opinion, man" to the masses!

I look forward to meeting you. And perhaps hugging, if the occasion calls for it.

Laremy's Pic of the Day

2009-04-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

Monday, Monday.

2009-04-27T13:29:00.001-07:00

Stop Using Literally

2009-03-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

If you use "literally" in your prose you should stop writing. Take a time-out. Reflect. Then come back stronger, and without the need for a crutch.

Friday Music!!

2009-03-27T15:13:00.001-07:00

How about some Friday music? Between Say Hi and Blitzen Trapper my musical life is definitely getting better.

Wow.

2009-03-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have been asked, without any sense of irony whatsoever, to switch the poster on the right out for the poster on the left. Keep in mind that these are the actual display sizes too, which means that any credits represented on the left version won't appear anyway.

If you can figure out, even 1%, how this changes anything about the film please get back to me. Because I am stupefied!

Other People's Typos

2009-03-25T16:21:00.001-07:00

As a person who lives in mortal fear of making a typo it's nice to see a large site like Slate spell Jason Segel's name wrong. Especially given it's spelled like my name, which people routinely spell wrong.

Wiimbledon!!

2009-03-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

I applied to play in Wii Wimbledon. Who wants in? Want some? Get some!

Umm... Ali Larter is Obsessed With Me.

2009-03-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

Man, when I got into this business I never thought Ali Larter would stalk me. But here I am, being stalked.

Tell me that's not a jarring photo. Now if I could just introduce her to Vinessa Shaw I'd be set!

Entire Stalking Video Here

Alive?

2009-03-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, I guess if my LaremyLegel.com account can't stay virus free I could always come back to this.

It's tempting.

Pillows and Reptiles

2007-03-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

There are many things I'll never be able to grasp in this world, electricity, boy bands, and what kids today call the "rap music."

No actually I like rap music and boy bands make sense because they're an innocuous sexual presence, but electricity I stand by because given a few thousand years I still couldn't come up with a solid explanation on that.

Now to the subject at hand, the coldness of the underpillow. Stuart Scott (largely annoying ESPN announcer) has a catch phrase that goes something like "As cool as the other side of the pillow" and it's as clever as it is apt. The other side of the pillow is cold and I got to wondering why. I think I've figured this one out, and it didn't even take me 1000 years.

Got to be heat rising and cold sinking right? Body heat pressurizes the pillow's underside and creates that cold part. For me this is a bonus scientific happening because I love that cold pocket. It helps regulate my sleeping temperature. Like a Reptile I'm not able to stand too much heat and so that pillow bottom really comes in handy.

I don't know why I mention this except to say that in this nuclear global warming age we live in it's nice to know that sometimes science really works out to our benefit. Cherish that other side of the pillow. It's mother earth making you an iced tea.

PS- Underpillow seems not to be an approved Microsoft Word® word. I say screw that noise. We're going with it.

Fabricated News

2007-03-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

The seems like a very poor attempt to create a news story.

Here's the headline:

John and Elizabeth Edwards defend decision to run

First question: Defend from whom? Are they being attacked? Edwards is a distant third in the dem nom race so I doubt very much groups are working up a good lather about him running. Which brings us to why he'd potentially be attacked:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Democratic presidential contender John Edwards and his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth defended their decision to continue his White House bid Sunday, but the former senator said voters' questions about the decision to keep running are legitimate.

Ah, yes, he shouldn't run because his wife has cancer. Got it. Because so many people go after guys whose spouses have cancer. I mean, what? No, no one would do that because it would be career suicide. Can you even imagine?

"Hey, I like John Edwards. But his wife has cancer. So he's got to go."

That would not happen on this planet because the headline the next day would read "Politician X attacks woman with cancer.

The best part is who the story is citing. "Voters." Clearly for CNN that's good enough to run with. Who are these "Voters?" No idea. I would guess John Edwards himself probably brought up this subject and someone at CNN owes him a favor. Otherwise it's a non-story.

I mean c'mon. His wife's Cancer is a private family matter and I'm pretty sure everyone (including the "voters") would have respected him keeping it private. Instead we get made up stories meant to boost his poll numbers.

Sheesh.

Today's Shout Out

2007-03-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

I'd like to give a little doff of the cap to Volkswagen today, or I should say the artist formerly known as VW before they became just like every other car. Please behold the 1967 VW Bug:

And now the 1984 edition:

Notice anything? The cars are pretty much identical. It's like Volkswagen, for about a 20 year period, made the same car and said "Hey, we made this one this year so we'll call it the 19xx version." They didn't feel the need to give you a car that parked itself or warned you when someone had broken in. No, instead they probably innovated with something like cupholders over two decades of business. And for that I salute them in a most profound way.

Whenever I see one of these cars rolling around I think back on my entire life; because that's the time they take me back to. Well played Gents.

Elevators

2007-03-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

One of the best things in the world is when you get on an elevator, hit your button, and then, as the door is around one inch from closing someone else walks up, hits the down button, and viola, your elevator opens back up for them.

They always look surprised and raise their eyebrows at you, as if wondering why you were sticking around waiting for them, and then they invariably look towards your floor selection. One of the rules of the universe is that they will NEVER EVER have to go to the same floor you are going to, and they will always need to go to a floor that gets off before you. This can not be explained or ignored.

If you are extra special lucky it will happen to you twice on the same floor, and the person who entered the elevator second will hit the "hold elevator" button for the third person who will of course have to go to a different floor than either you or the joiner, but for certain your floor will still be last.

These things fill me with GLEE.

Veggies

2007-03-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the specific difference is between Cauliflower and Broccoli but I know that I hate one of them and sort of enjoy the other.

The Verdict: Cauliflower is no good. Broccoli with cheese is delicious. This is an inescapable fact and anyone who tells you different is a dirty liar.

Oh, and here is the technical difference, never let it be said this isn't a full service blog.

Papa Don't Preach

2007-03-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

Do you think Madonna wrote "Papa Don't Preach" from a real experience? Hmm.. probably not because she doesn't have an older child.

But I've got to wonder, if she did, how the conversation would go.

"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep!"

PAPA (played by Wilford Brimley): First off, you're in deep trouble, not trouble deep. Second, why don't you formulate a plan instead of coming up with inane rhymes? No wonder I'm worried about you.

"Papa don't preach, I been losing sleep!"

PAPA: (Sighs deeply)

The Hippos

2007-03-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Why did anyone think that Hippos would be really hungry for marbles?

Also, you should know that cell phone companies add things on to voicemail messages (like "to page this person press one, otherwise wait for the beep) to charge you more.

When is the last time you paged someone on a phone? Never. Also, note the delay as to when they say "wait for the beep" and the actual beep. The cell folks know that if they can keep you on until 1:01 they can charge you for another minute. And somewhere in there is profit.

Bad cell phone companies!

My Close Captioning

2007-03-05T10:53:00.000-08:00

I have a TV in my cubicle, which is cool, but I generally have to keep it tuned to the news (which is uncool). Anyway, it's a pretty old television and either I can't figure out how to turn off close captioning or it simply does it by default when the thing is on mute. Also, it's always on mute because if I had to hear "We've got some breaking news" 400 times a day I would go insane.

So I'm stuck with subtitles, and in an effort to turn those off I've switched them to Spanish ones. I like to think I'm becoming bilingual while ignoring the news.

See, everyone thinks pop culture writing is all glitz and glamour (British spelling) but the truth is I have troubles too.

I Am, I Said

2007-03-02T07:37:00.000-08:00

When you truly look at Neil Diamond's "I Am, I Said" it is oddly poetic. Consider:

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.

That's old school emotional depth from a guy who is often mimicked as a cheesy crooner (not by me though, I love him).

So I ask, if Neil Diamond must now be considered an artist at large who else have I overlooked? Wayne Newton maybe?

Polls

2007-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

When I see a poll, such as Obama vs. McCain or Hillary vs. Rudy I always wonder who the poll is comprised of.

Who answers their home phone these days? Who doesn't have a cellular phone? Who doesn't have call screening?

I wonder if we are polling the jobless or bedridden. If so, they would not be a great indicator of American trends unless the poll was about beds or unemployment benefits.

Then they would be a wonderful sample set.

I fear I've flogged this joke about three sentences too far. Yep, I have.

As heard on MSNBC

2007-02-28T13:10:00.000-08:00

Let me set the scene:

A reporter, outside the Anna Nicole courtroom. It's windy. She's reporting. She finishes reporting.

MSNBC Host back in studio: Isn't the wind annoying when you're trying to do a report and the wind blows your hair around?

MSNBC Gal on site: I'm sorry, what was that? The wind is causing you to break up.

Host: I said isn't it annoying to have your hair blown all around?

On site gal: (clearly only hearing part, becoming confused): Oh, um, yeah my hair is blowing all around. Just play video or something so it won't be distracting. And of course we'll focus on the very important legal issues surrounding this case.

It should be mentioned that the producer of this segment, and both "on air" talent elements are paid an awful lot of money to bring you hard hitting stuff just like this.

Review - The Notebook

2007-02-27T15:46:00.000-08:00

This a review I did back in 2004 after seeing a Seattle Film Festival Screening. I submitted this to AintItCoolNews.com but they didn't want it.

Anyway, here it is, hopefully it makes you giggle. Or bitter. Either one is really acceptable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night I had the grievous misfortune of watching The Notebook for the opening of the Seattle Film Fest. Before I get to the review, let me first give you some background so as to provide perspective. I love film and I am a member of Cinema Seattle, the non-profit group that puts together the awesome feat that is the Seattle Film Fest. I am attending 13 shows of the Film Fest, with the shows I am really jazzed about seing Criminal, Garden State, Stander, Love me if you Dare and Infernal Affairs II (but not III!!). In short, 90% of the movies I see I like, and 20% or so I love and rave about. This year my favorite films are Miracle and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Last year I was fortunate enough to see awesome flicks like Spellbound and Whale Rider (with the cast in attendance) at the festival.

Anyway, I hope that gives me some credibility in that
1. I love going to movies and
2. In general, I like most movies. Now onto the review.

The worst movie I have ever seen up until last evening was Daylight with Sly Stallone. Hey, I'm a Rocky and Rambo guy, but Daylight made me twitch it was so bad (I hate to keep qualifying statements about things I dislike, but I just want to get across that I WANTED to like The Notebook which made its horrendous execution all the more horrific). However, last night The Notebook was not only the worst movie I have ever seen, but simply the worst form of entertainment, including books, comics, TV, and movies that I've ever witnessed. It was introduced by its screenwriter, Jeremy Leven. Mr. Leven was eloquent and charming and it seemed like we might be in for a treat. Prior to him, the Mayor of Seattle spoke, as well as the obligatory thanking of the numerous sponsors.

Then the movie started. The first 90 seconds of the film start well. It's a pretty scene of a man rowing at dusk, birds fly around him, a woman watches from a window. It's nice, and 90 seconds in you are feeling swell. And then the rest happens. I don't even know where to start with my critique... essentially an old woman is being cared for by a nurse, and a gentleman comes in to read to her. He's reading her a story. It's a great love story we're told, and we are taken back to the past to watch it all unfold. Essentially, a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks (Noah) falls in love with an upper crust dame (Allie). Ryan Gosling plays the poor fellow, working at the lumber mill, down on his luck, but still with a flare for the dramatic. Within 4 minutes he:

1. Pulls off a zany stunt to get Allie (Rachel Mcadams) to agree to a date with him. 2. She then changes her mind and tells him to try again.
3. He does, and they date.
4. They are madly in love.
5. They fight and they challenge each other, but still, madly in love.

I'm not sure how to do this sequence justice because it's kind of like you meeting someone for a new job and them copping a feel during your orientation. You're just bewildered, and you don't know how to react. Hey, the voice-overs tell you they are in love, so dammit, they ARE! Anyway, two factors you should know about them and their love,

1. They are star crossed, silly!
2. He helps her to take chances, and she shows him she's a sure thing. Or some other such nonsense.

Cut back to the gentleman reading to the old woman. She wants to know if they are in love. Of course they are, didn't you hear the voice-overs?? But gosh, aren't they going to have problems because she's rich and he's poor? Stay tuned! The summer goes on and they are INSEPERABLE! It's true, in the montage we see of 7 quick snippets, they are ALWAYS together. And yet, still challengin' each other. But bad news is on the horizon friends, the summer is coming to an end, and she is off to college, and he works in a lumber yard! Dios Mio! It all comes to a head when the parents of Allie are introduced. Her mom is played by Joan Allen as a Cruella Deville type. Her father has a mustache! That's his main feature in the story. That he has a big mustache. Oh wait, there is one more thing about him, and I confirmed this with 3 separate viewers, ahem, he seems to be attracted to his daughter, Allie. You read that correctly. I'm not sure what type of notes he was receiving during filming, but I can only imagine they read "bigger mustache & more incest!” Anyway the parents learn that Noah only makes 40 cents a day at the lumber mill. They also drop the bomb that Allie is headed away to Sarah Lawrence College in New York!! Egads!!

Fast forward to that night, when they decide they should probably do it, because the summer is ending. They meet in an old abandoned mansion, and Noah shares how one day he'll buy it and fix it up. Allie tells him how she wants the house, and Noah says he's on it. I wonder if that will come into play? On to the loving! Even that is handled poorly, although I think I got a laugh when Allie ruined the moment with her incoherent jabbering. But as they are trying to consummate their unholy love a cliché storm has been a' brewing! The cops are looking for them. Cruella Mommy has called in the fuzz! They rush back to the house so dad can leer at his daughter. Cruella has a stern talking to with daughter. She's not to see him again! He's TRASH! Luckily, Noah is in the next room and hears this and is suitably offended. He may be trash, but he's not deaf. He's making an exit to his truck (presumably to call his agent) and Allie chases after him. They almost make up with their incredible love, but then, sigh; they challenge each other, get in a fight, and swear they are broken up. He roars away in the night. The next morning Cruella Mom is moving them to NYC!! "But wait Mom, I love him!" "To bad hon, your dad wants you all to himself." A mad dash to the lumber yard ensues, but Noah isn't there. Allie leaves a message with Noah's friend who has had 3 lines of dialogue in the movie. Allie is sped away to NYC, leaving Noah behind to get the message from the friend. In the next 8 minutes of film the following things happen, and I'm going list mode because that's how the film treats them.

1. Noah writes Allie EVERY DAY for a year straight.
2. Cruella intercepts the mail EVERY DAY for a year straight. You got it, Allie doesn't check the mail all year long. Ever.
3. Noah is so sad about Allie never writing back. Sigh. He decides to join the army with the three line dialogue friend.
4. They have some good times in the next 2 years. They are in Patton's army. They fight in WWII.
5. The friend DIES.
6. Noah goes home, and his poppa has essentially sold everything and bought Noah his dream fixer upper mansion.
7. Allie becomes a nurse in her spare time from college and meets a young GI who reminds her a little of Noah.
8. Allie and the GI get engaged.
9. Noah sees Allie from a bus (where? No idea) He chases after her, only to see her in the arms of her fiancee.
10. Noah is sad, really starts working hard on the house.
11. The fixed up house becomes big news. A reporter comes and takes a picture.
12. While trying on her wedding dress, Allie sees the paper, sees Noah, collapses.

Evidently the story of Noah and his house has made it to NY from wherever Noah is, although wherever he is has always been too far for either of them to travel to.

This sets up the dramatic conclusion. Almost at the end of the movie we learn that seven years passed in between Allie getting whisked away and Noah's newspaper fame. Seven years in which two people who loved each other so much (and in so challenging a manner) weren't able to actually get it together to at least seek out their unrequited love. Ok, sure, whatever. Allie sees the picture and goes to seek out Noah. They enjoy each others company. Cut back to the old lady and the old man, hmmm.. do you think they could actually be Noah and Allie? Nah... couldn't be. But if they are Allie has dementia and doesn't remember anything about their amazing love. The doctors tell Noah (or the guy who MIGHT be Noah if you've ever seen a movie before) there is no hope for her, give up. Noah knows better. Science be damned is his stance. He's going to bring his Allie, or the gal who MIGHT be Allie (got to keep up the tension) back from the brink.

Cut back to the past, Allie and Noah are together for the stunning finish... or stunning to those 5 year olds out there watching. They take a boat ride with about 1000 swans, literally, but still, do you think they will get together? Back at the dock (after some type of dramatic hurricane rain) in the Oscar scene Allie screams "Why Didn't you write me?" and Noah says "I did! Every Day! For a Year!" And then they love each other (challenging) all night long. The morning comes and it's decision time. Does she choose the love of her life, or the fiancée the audience met 15 minutes ago? Tough. Cruella Mom roars down to wherever they are to help make the choice by giving Allie all the old letters she intercepted and also showing Allie her own old sweetheart (who oddly still works in the lumber mill). Cut back to old lady dementia and story man. She remembers him! The old Allie is back! They dance and then she freaks out, dementia style. Near the end they die in bed, together.

And that's the movie. That's the whole ball of wax.

The best description I can give it is this. Pretend you were watching a movie, and every 90 seconds someone hit you in the head with a mallet. At the end you'd be frustrated, right? They should give classes on this movie, with the semester goal being to FIX every damn scene. At the end you'd have a really nice movie that aspired to be a bit like "Legends of the Fall". This movie should be marketed as the comedy of the summer. It's stunningly bad, but I would actually recommend it because you won't believe it's happening. You'll look around during it in disbelief, audience members will laugh out loud during the dementia scenes, and you'll come out of the whole experience dumber for having watched it, but still it's a must see.

If you have dementia.

Headline

2007-02-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

MSNBC headline: "Court battles raging in Florida over Anna Nicole's body"

Really? Raging?

1 : causing great pain or distress
2 : VIOLENT, WILD -a raging fire
3 : EXTRAORDINARY, TREMENDOUS

Hmm, maybe they are causing great pain. And I guess they aren't ordinary. Still, it seems like the MSNBC people might be trying to make this story a little bigger than it is. Go figure.

New You Can't Use

2007-02-27T07:37:00.000-08:00

First off, there is a lyric from a song that goes something like:

"I don't get no sleep in a quiet room."

Ignore the obvious double negative and consider the following question:

Does he not get sleep because the room is too quiet?
Does he not sleep just in general, even if the room is quiet?

Also, is it fair to say that any performance appraisal a suicide bomber receives will be a poor one?

See, these are the things that keep me up at night.

Heartbeat Sensor??

2007-02-22T16:46:00.000-08:00

I just saw an ad for a car that features a heartbeat sensor. This sensor measures if someone is in your car as you approach it. So many questions here:

1) Wouldn't the alarm just go off in the first place?

2) Wouldn't the car have some sort of broken window?

3) How many people come back and find out too late their cars have been invaded? This is an actual problem?

4) The commercial shows the lady check out the heartbeat sensor, and back away from her car. She's all alone. Well, maybe I'm reaching here, but wouldn't whoever was sneaky enough to disable her alarm without obvious damage while lying in wait for her simply chase her down like a dog?

Just make a car that never breaks down you fools!!

Here's the crazy info if you want to feel safer about your Volvo

Huzzah For The Interjection!

2007-02-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

I greatly agree with this Slate.com article.

It's time to start giving some love to the overlooked interjection.

The House Debates!

2007-02-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

Doesn't the idea of a binding resolution from the House of Reps or the Senate sound a little dirty?

Thankfully today nothing will be bound. They seem to be just talking to fill time.

Go Government!

Breaking NEWS!!

2007-02-13T12:03:00.000-08:00

There is bad weather on the East Coast. If you live there you should probably freak out.

The Grammys Column

2007-02-13T11:22:00.001-08:00

Not Your Granny's Grammys by Laremy Legel

(Originally posted on Film.com because that is one COOL website.)

Please enjoy some random thoughts on the 49th Annual Grammy (formerly the Gramophones) Awards.

It's time to lead the backlash against Justin Timberlake. Yeah, he can sing and dance, and judging by the Grammys he can play piano and guitar too. I'm not debating the fact that he's a musical talent. But enough is enough. The guy IS everywhere. He performed multiple times on the show and he even had a TV segment about the inspirations behind one of his songs. Were aliens to invade our planet they would assume J-Tim was our ruler. And they wouldn't be far off.

Which is why I'm heading the charge to have him vilified, so that one day he'll put out an underrated acoustic album which will immediately be followed by an *NSYNC reunion. I have only two reasons Justin should be taken down a few notches. Scarlett and Jessica. Justin, the rules on starlet dating are very clear. They were set forth by Brad Pitt and Charlie Sheen so many years ago. One at a time. If you're caught in the company of Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson within the same week you're headed for a fall. Consider yourself warned.Read More

During the Police reunion Sting looked sort of horrified. Also "Roxanne" was not the song to play. Give me "King of Pain" or give me death!

Jamie Foxx clearly needs a ton of attention. He asked the crowd to cheer about a hundred times. Jamie, they're all industry and highly disillusioned. Leave them be.

Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder won the Best Pop Collaboration w/ Vocals Grammy, or, as I like to call it, "The token Grammy for a song that came out 700 years ago."

Prince said three words all night: "One Word: Beyonce." That was his total vocal output and yet he was better than everyone else there. This summer Prince is the new Justin Timberlake. Mark it down!

The Black Eyed Peas are to music what I am to figure skating.

Mary J. Blige fights The Dixie Chicks for Grammy supremacy the entire evening. It's R&B vs. Country, and no one wins that battle without some bloodshed. I say we let them collaborate on "New York, New York" and line up their joint Grammy for next year.

John Mayer's songs remind a little bit of high school poetry. If he puts out his liner notes in the shape of a question mark that will cinch it. Love his stuff, though, big fan.

If the aforementioned aliens try to take over, and our only recourse is a "Dance Off" then I nominate Shakira to defend our proud planet. She has moves that almost broke my television.

Gnarls Barkley is a supremely weird guy/group, but I can respect that because it's always funny to watch people act like they are loving it when truly they're just really really confused.

It seems to me that giving the Dixie Chicks five Grammys is more of a political statement than a qualitative one. That's fine, but can we just hold one show total called the Grascars?

Carrie Underwood sings "Life in the Fast Lane" with Rascal Flatts. Somewhere the Eagles roll over in their graves.

Christina Ricci must start eating. Right now.

I love Lionel Richie and I'm not ashamed at all. It was weird, but as I danced around my living room singing, "Hello, is it me you're looking for?" at top decibel, no one called the cops. I think the neighbors are finally starting to get me.

Along with Shakira I'd throw Chris Brown into our "Dance Off" competition against the evil aliens. Some of the things he does would require me to have an operation.

Christina Aguilera is tremendous. She really did James Brown justice, and it's funny everyone once compared her to Brit Spears. As it turns out, the major difference was Aguilera can sing.

James Blunt, I'll miss ya, man. Don't be a stranger, fella. Page me or something when you get off your shift.

Prince thanks the fans in an ad. Seriously, Prince for Prez.

Three hours in the Red Hot Chili Peppers sing after being teased every single commercial break for the entire show.

Al Gore belongs at the Grammys. No seriously. Wipe that smirk off your face, he's a hep cat!

Best Rock Album: Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's the Grammy Corollary. You can't win a big award unless you've been around a decade.

One of Justin's girlfriends gives the Dixie Chicks their Album of the Year award, presented directly after Record of the Year. The difference between Record and Album? The spelling.

I think Rick Rubin had multiple artists up for album/record of the year. If I'm not mistaken he produced both the Chili Peppers and the Dixie Chicks. This means if you cross him you'll end up like Paula Abdul, scared and alone.

The Dixie Chicks' multiple victories notch up the Grammys nice and neat. Next year will mark the 50th Grammys, and I'm guessing we'll see a spectacle the likes of which we haven't seen since Halley's Comet. Tune in then! Provided I'm not stalking Jessica, Chistina, or Shakira I look forward to joining you.

---------------------------------------
Laremy Legel

The Laremy Projects

2007-02-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

Laremy Legel
by Laremy Legel

Here is the spot for everything Laremy is working on. Will it be a blog? No idea. But it will have links, links galore. Maybe one day it will have a blog or something, my thoughts on politics, music, life, the universe and everything. This will be done from my ranch of course. I've got a cheeky F.A.Q.'s as my second post, so check that out if you're feeling saucy.

I don't think today is that day however, so here's my body of work in case you NEED more Laremy for your dollar.

Sample Film.com work
There isn't an author search or category yet, sorry, if you go to film.com every couple of days you'll probably catch postings by me.

Big Brother Related Content
I've done a bunch of work with my AskBigBrother blog and if you want to relive all the action from BB7 All-Stars you can go nuts with this one.

I'm Greedy for More Big Brother, What About Those Chats You Did With The BB7 Cast?
Glad you asked. Here's a YouTube link to the one I did with Janelle. You can hear my voice plenty here if the podcast hasn't satiated you and at the end I twirl her ON CAMERA. Yeah, that's right, my screen debut for an adoring public.

Fantasy Football Anyone?
Now that sport's fans have been approached I'll take you one geeky step further. Every Tuesday morning you can find a fantasy recap at the above link.

Yeah, I'm a Movie Star
Ok, that's not technically true because I'll probably get edited out, but I worked with this fly director, Hunter Weeks, and we jabbered a bit about Fantasy Football (again??? Hey, I put them at them at the bottom of the links, gimme a break). So click the link above and stay tuned for when I'm finally listed in IMDB.com

Laremy Legel - more than you want to know

2007-02-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

Just who the hell is this Laremy guy?
You got me. I think I'm a writer, for instance I've written two books and a long essay that you used to be able to buy.. but not anymore. Maybe one day soon.

Why should I care about your one billion projects?
You should care only in the sense that they entertain you. If they don't.. well tune out my brother! (not my actual brothers, you should keep tuning in) There are plenty of great websites out there to regale and delight, check out them if I'm a bore.

Like what sites are you talking about?
Rude! Ok, I'm a sucker so I'll just throw out www.slate.com and www.theonion.com as sites I get a laugh out of.

You are quite attractive. Can we date?
Sorry, no. I'm married, and quite married at that. If I get single again though I'll look you up. Yeah, you in the plaid.

Do you read much?
I try and read as much as possible. I'll list some books I like at the bottom too. Lately I've tended towards non-fiction because novels seem way more hit and miss. But if you have great fiction advice, by all means email me.

What's your email address?
Guess. Get creative, sadly I'm VERY reachable all over the net. People email me all the time. As long as the query isn't in all caps I generally respond. Once I get to big to respond I'll have my publicist do it. Once they get to big some random cousin who needs work will. As always I will return SASE envelopes with 8x10 glossy images of me signed free of charge.

Do you have advice for aspiring writers?
Yes. Why aren't you writing right now? Writing is freaking hard and oftentimes my wrists hurt (I'm not even kidding about that). Getting noticed is even that much harder. I'd say read a lot, and then see if your writing is like the stuff you are reading. If you're truly brilliant you're most likely screwed as people too far ahead of their time never get big until like 100 years later. Sorry, not my rule.

Now back to the advice, write about anything for anyone, at least at first. Go on Craig's List under the writing sections and see what people want. Submit like crazy. Figure out what style and type of writing you are good at and want to do. Don't give up. I get rejected more than ten times the amount I get accepted. That's just a fact of life. You will have to write for free and nothing will come easy. Once you've got a body of work start going for higher profile stuff. Make contacts. Be pleasant. Bend over backwards. It's an unfortunate fact but the best writing will not always win. The most tenacious person will.

How do I become a movie reviewer?
It would really help you to live in a big city where they hold screenings and have a film society. If you don't you'll have to go through websites that want free stuff and there is no guarantee you'll ever get paid working for them. You might get some free DVDs though. If you do live in a big city join that film society and start going to early screenings of movies. Meet some people who happen to be reviewers there. Tell them you want to make their life easier. If they work for a newspaper they won't be able to help because papers only hire people with a decade of experience. If they work for a website they may be able to help, ask what you can do. Tell them you adore doing grunt work and go from there.

Hey, what makes you a real writer anyway?
Nothing besides the fact that I get paid to write full time and I've been a paid writer for the past few years. I'm not Steven King or anything and honestly anyone reading this could surpass my achievements in under a week. Go for it!

What is Laremy 42?
It's the name of my blog. If you are looking for the reason it's 42 you should google "the answer to life, the universe, and everything." Or I'm the 42nd Laremy out there. One of the two.

Is the idea of LaremyLegel.com the most vain thing in the history of man?
It's close I grant you but I'd point to The Sphinx in Egypt as pretty vain too.

So what writers/books do you love?
Any of Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Books
Kurt Vonnegut (A man without a country)
Pat Conroy (Beach Music)
Christopher Moore (Fluke)
Tom Robbins (Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates)
Margaret George (Mary Queen of Scots)
Malcolm Gladwell (The Tipping Point)
Gregory David Roberts (Shantaram)
Clive Barker (Weaveworld)
Edmund ??? (London, The Princes of Ireland
Chuck Klosterman (Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs)

More to come... :)